Jaggerism 172

Jagger:  "Hey mom, why hasn't anyone ever created a taco waffle?  I mean, it would be the texture of a waffle with the fillings of a taco.  Don't argue with me.  It's a good idea."

Jaggerism 171

Jagger's teachers are having a difficult time reading his name on his school papers. I'm not sure why it matters. They know the work is his. He's the only child that writes his name in Daedric.

What is the Daedric alphabet?

Jaggerism 170

(Knock at the bathroom door)

Mom: "Yes?"

Jagger: "Hey mom, do you know how to multi-task?"

Mom: "What???"

Jagger: "I'm just wondering if you can pee and answer my question at the same time."

Jaggerism 169

One of our neighbors was burning fall leaves.

Jagger: "What is that HORRIBLE smell? It smells like someone set fire to their armpit hair, but with a hint of raspberries."

Jaggerism 168

Dear Halloween Costume Makers:

This is the second year in a row that you've let me down. My child cannot be the only one who wants to be a gravitational physicist for Halloween.

Jaggerism 167

Jagger angrily waved a straw at the Dunkin Donuts employee and said, "You know there are tons of these straws littering the yard at that crack house on the corner?"

(I don't think the Dunkin employee knew that he was referring to the house under construction - the one with the big CRACK in the uneven sidewalk.)

Jaggerism 166

When Jagger was at occupational therapy today, he was sitting cross-legged on the floor and his leg became numb. His therapist said his leg was "asleep". Jagger corrected her. He knows all about this from television. He told her his leg had "erectile dysfunction".

Jaggerism 165

Hello Mrs. Gray,

Jagger is interested in the product below:

 (This was a link to an ebay auction for a collector's edition replica of a video game item. Current bid $195)

Jagger did not want to do his ELA work because he was focused on this item along with two other items.  Jagger completed his work and I told him I would e-mail you the link after he finished his work.

Jagger also wants me to tell you that his Dad owes him 50.00 for doing random jobs.  I know that Jagger will be ready to focus and continue working through the school day now that we have sent you his thoughts. 

Jagger & Ms.Teacher

Jaggerism 164

Mom and Jagger went out for dinner after Jagger's 10 year old physical.  While eating, they discussed some of the symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome.  When mom was finished explaining some of the social difficulties that are common, Jagger said, "So now I understand why I suck so bad at playing The Sims!"

Jaggerism 163

Shopping in the domestics section of a department store, mom said, "Jagger, what do you think of these curtains for your room?"

Jagger: "I think it's weird that there is not a species that is formed in way where they can scratch their own backs."

Jaggerism 162

Jagger:  "Mom, I want this kitten to stop being a nippy hippy and start being a tired businessman."

Note: Sometimes the things Jagger says make perfect sense to him, but we have to investigate a little to understand what he means. In this case, he was laying on the couch with the kitten on his chest.  The kitten was playfully nibbling at his fingers.  He wanted the kitten to stop playing and go to sleep.  This was his way of expressing that thought.

Jaggerism 161

Jagger: "Where are all the tacos? They're gone? Talk about those going fast! Or should I say TACO about those going fast. Hey, I made a pun! Hey everyone, I made a pun!"

Jaggerism 160

Jagger: "Just so you know, I called the dog pretty much everything you would find in a McDonalds breakfast bag and the only thing she responded to was 'pancake'."

Jaggerism 159

School Assignment: write a letter to your friend, explaining what you did over the weekend.

Jagger wrote a letter to his character in Skyrim and explained how he could have played better in the game over the weekend.

Jaggerism 158

Jagger: "That movie was so horrible that I'd like to take a gun and shoot all of Mr. Poppers's penguins....wait are they endangered?"